I had to scrape the rust with my nails, but the marks remained. This is an old sketch of mine. That is, done by me, not a self-portrait because those are usually abstract. I cannot ‘copy’ anyone’s face.It was stuck to the back of a wooden frame and the metal sides had aged. I tried to prise the paper away, and found these rusty stains on them. After scanning it, I zoomed in and found that I had signed twice. I have no idea why.
It isn’t a good drawing at all. I recall it was done with ordinary pencil. I asked a friend whether I should put up the “stupid sketch” here.
“If it is stupid, then don’t.”
“Oh, I don’t have a problem showing my flaws; it makes people feel good.”
I have not touched it up at all. Nature has been kind even to my feeble attempt. It has left the face and the core pretty much untouched.
There are many things in life that border our existence – they may be wonderful additions, but they stay on the periphery.
“You don’t want anyone to come close,” is an oft-stated comment.
“You are aloof,” is another.
If you look at the face closely, you will see the eyes are wide awake. Anyone who looks outside cannot be aloof. Not if she happily makes rusting metal stains too a part of her life.
Or is it only rusting metal stains that stay long enough?
4 comments:
Farzana,
I like the sketch. Parts of it look disproportionate (is that the word?) and there is something about the eyes that makes me think of a Picasso painting (No, people, I am not comparing F. to Picasso!) more so than the eyes we see in those 'woman in candlelight' or other Indian paintings.
And the eyes may be wide open but are they filled or blank? I dunno, I think there's a wistfulness to them.
Khair, meiN kya janoo re?
The other thing, Farzana, as I zoomed in more to view the sketch, is that it could well be you, in the abstract, of course. :) It reminds me of you.
Ana:
I have always felt attached to the sketch, not the way it has been drawn (not even on sketch paper, btw), but because of the moment. I suppose if you see me in it (in the abstract, of course!), then there was me in it, possibly something I have been in denial about given the date and the "wistfulness". (Also, people who have seen other sketches insist the female faces end up having some resemblance to me...so, what exactly is disproportionate?? You’ve got me worried :)
"and there is something about the eyes that makes me think of a Picasso painting (No, people, I am not comparing F. to Picasso!"
Arre, compare kar lo baba...at least one aspect is akin if you recall the film, "Surviving Picasso". Bohat kathin hai!
"And the eyes may be wide open but are they filled or blank? I dunno, I think there's a wistfulness to them."
Filled with blankness??
Thanks for zooming in, rather than zooming past...
Arre, disproportionate praaper lafz nahiN tha. . . zooming in helped more. At first glance, I thought some facial features might have been exaggerated, jaisay abstract maiN kartay haiN. No need for fik'r. :)
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