I had deleted this. Why? Have I ever bothered about how I was being viewed? It is that time of month again, so a good enough time to repeat my feelings about what is a most natural occurrence. I cannot understand why some women are queasy at the sight of blood when every month we are bleeding. I await this ritual with a great deal of anticipation. A delay of a couple of days and I get tense. I have been fretting about menopause since I was 14, three years after I reached puberty.
What is it about menstruation that I find so...how do I put it?...calming? Is it the assertion of feminity and fertility? I think not. I feel in control even though it really amounts to wetting your pants for seven days.
For one who was quite shy regarding such matters, I do not know how I gained confidence. I think it was the fact that the first ever time it arrived we were saying our prayers in class just before lunch..."Hail Mary full of grace...". Sunita who was behind me, saw this red rivulet snaking its way from my bench to the floor. I felt her hand push me and turned to see her use her handkerchief to cover it and stop its downward journey.
That was a lot of blood, and the fact that a fellow student felt nothing about soiling her kerchief and perhaps her hand instilled some comfort in me. After that, except for the occasional drama of feeling sick to bunk school, I was very happy.
My enthusiasm was not to be dimmed. Even when on days I walked like I had to prevent a watermelon from falling off, there was a song on my lips. I cannot complain about PMS because I have mood swings even on dry days.
After all these years, and despite the natural changes that are wreaked upon the body, I still feel amazingly good when I see a strip with wings heavy with my blood. Except that now it is also a dard ka rishta and not just a daag ka rishta…