The return...again

* Finally got the pix uploaded on the computer...and the canopy does not even look pink.

* The couple of times I did get to the business centre I felt stupid. People in business centres look like they are on business. Not the way I look..."slow and lethargic", as a friend messaged me today. They talk with a tongue so firm, it stiffens words into hardened souls. "I want a printout". "Please fax this". "Heck, the work sheet, I need it." And I would be sitting on this blogger page, looking lost, tapping my fingers on the table hoping to be able to produce music.

* Sometimes, the suited-booted guys looked at me with amusement, as though I was someone who was just wasting time. I wish I had a briefcase to throw on their heads. Heads filled with figures about what others had achieved and how much something cost. I want to know how much I would cost. So I reflect and tap the table with my fingers and fidget in the chair.

* It was gratifying that I could keep a friend posted almost everyday about his city. Memories of the lanes that had meant so much to him...today I sent him pictures of those streets, and one of myself. I told him that I too would become a memory someday. It is an assumption. I may become nothing...

* Wonder why I look so contemplative in most pictures...even when I was happy. Did I wonder why I was or whether it would last? Did I fully comprehend the happiness or was it lost in thought, a slave to my fissured imagination?

* I distorted the photograph. What else can I do to myself? I feel like an image in a river. Throw a pebble my way and move me to tears. Will you?