While I am completely besotted by 'my area', the stretch between Chowpatty and
I was at the Catholic Gymkhana after ages. I imagined a conversation that might have taken place between one of the regulars and me...Betty spots me and waves out. I make my way towards her table.
"What men, where da hell you are? Went
"No, just been lazy."
"Ah, having fun haan. Gud-gud. Dis weder no, jus terrible. Was telling Rodney yesterday only to put AC in all da rooms, but dat Ambani fellow now wants to save power. Like wot hippocrit. Dey have ten-ten car, full blasting AC, also helicopter and we poor peepals suffer."
"You are not poor."
"Come yaa, for dem I am like chillar only. Poor peepals live in open so deer system used to all dis."
"Did you have problems getting here? The traffic..."
"Donn even ask. One ting is dis stupid old car. Told Rodney to buy new car, he sez no wait we will go to Emrica or sumting. I told him first take me to Panjim den we will talk of Emrica."
"You know the traffic was because..."
"I know, I know. Doze peepal are taking out morcha. Wot use? Bush is not coming to
(Friend interjects, "Writing.”)
“You are crazy men. Get life and start using kompitter."
"Gud. You mus go fast with time. Deez days on internet you can find recipes, and for my Maggie I told Rodney der are nice boys. I showed him one foto, he sez boy's name is
"So I tell you kompitter is best ting. For you recipe and boy no use, so you can do shopping."
"I prefer feeling the stuff before I buy it."
"Damn, why you need to have feeling for everiting? Real pucca emoshnal fool. In dis weder who want to go out and buy? You start swetting like pig. Did you try ham sandwich?"
"Forgot, you don't eat pork. You must be starving den. No pork, even chicken dangerous. Doze birds also get bledy flu. Instead dey should get diariah and everiting from system will be out."
"It's okay. I can survive on vegetables."
"I know dis place. Dey make wedge kebabs, it look like real ting, I swear."
"It is real thing."
"Ah, I knew der mus be some michif. I must tell Rodney to try...dey surely put lamb in it. He was saying who wants to eat doll and baaji."
"It is...never mind. I must leave."
"Okay, dear. Donn mind my asking, but why Muslims donn like salami?"
"I guess they prefer salaami"
- - -
Had written it when Bush was visiting India a couple of years ago. The language is very Bombay-Catholic, though it may spill over into other areas of the country. Reproducing it here because I think this blog is getting a bit morose these past few days.