16.6.08

Ask the vexpert - 7

Question: I am 35 years old. When having oral sex with my wife, I ejaculated on my towel. It was kept like that for two days, after which, by mistake it went into the washing machine with other clothes. We live in a joint family. Are there chances of anyone in my family getting pregnant because their undergarments were washed with my towel? What’s the lifespan of a sperm when it’s outside the body? Do sperms get destroyed when washed with detergents?

Sexpert: There’s no need to panic. The sperms were long dead even before entering the washing machine. If not the detergent, the long hours after ejaculation must have made sure that the sperms become lifeless.

Me: I am assuming you kept it unwashed for two days as a mark of respect for what you had lost. This sentimental attachment is understandable as is your concern. The experts will say that sperms have a short lifespan but if you believe in rebirth chances of your sperm having similar beliefs are likely. In which case, those sperms might be friskier than the aging ones you had extricated from your system. Will any of your family members get impregnated because their undergarments were washed with the same towel? It depends on a couple of factors:

- How many women are there in your family of child-bearing age? (I can say with some certainty that men do not get pregnant.)

- Do they wear undergarments when they are still wet? (I ask this because sun-dried sperms (like sun-dried tomatoes) tend to shrink.)

I would caution you against using a towel for such activities in future and to also not dump it in the washing machine with other clothes. This is a private matter and you are indulging in what comes close to an orgy by proxy.

3 comments:

  1. LoL @ if you believe in rebirth chances of your sperm having similar beliefs are likely ... orgy by proxy !!!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hmm...you only respond to this??

    Poora ijjat mitti mein mila diye..as Gabbar would say...

    ReplyDelete
  3. FV,

    you only respond to this?? Poora ijjat mitti mein mila diye...

    err ... yahi bateein samajh men aati hain. Baqi to moti aqal walon key upar sey guzar jaati hain ... :)

    But this is a great advisory column you know - like I now know not to add insult to injury to all those not-to-be engineers/doctors/ scientists etc by tumbling them in a washing machine !!!

    ReplyDelete

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