Have you experienced that about to say something feeling? That tip of the tongue feeling? That bite my tongue and swallow every morsel of a sentence feeling?
I am thinking about this. We interpret and misinterpret words. Have we ever thought about the way silence can work? I have had conversations with people who want to know why I have not expressed an opinion on something or the other. “You have not said anything about the curfew in Kashmir, what is happening in Orissa, Malegaon, Assam…”
They are topical and it isn’t that I don’t have an opinion. Sometimes, I cannot formulate my thoughts. Sometimes, my thoughts cannot find words. Sometimes, my words run ahead.
So, in that sense, my silence is indeed being perceived and conclusions are reached.
When I hibernate, there is a reason. That silence is melancholic, meditative. Or it may not be silence at all. It may be numbness. That is not akin to silence, which is a choice. When you are numb you feel nothing.
Despite my written output, which essentially amounts to speaking through words – and this is post #1001 on this blog! – I do leave a lot unsaid.
For, in the large desert I am only willing to share my vision of a sand castle with you…maybe you will be here on days when there is a sand storm or I spot an oasis. It will be conveyed as I take a sip of grit and let the water drip off my lips to form a patch of a temporary memory.