Would you read 'Cooking
with Poo' or would the title put you off? That it might not alter your culinary
skills seems like a given.
Yet, it appears there is a
range of book names, less mysterious and more confounding. If they were in the
realm of bizarre fiction, one might have considered some as edgy, wicked or a
tease.
But, ‘Goblinproofing One's
Chicken Coop', that has won this year's weirdest book title given out annually
by the Bookseller magazine, is a manual. It has a higher purpose to help
"clear your home and garden of goblins and banish them forever".
Clearly, the author
Reginald Bakeley's mission against "scheming flower-fairies and other
nasty members of the fairy realm" appealed to the public. Bakeley is truly
concerned that if we paid heed to "weak-constitutioned fairy sympathisers,
then the whole of the outdoors will soon be snatched away from mankind, its rightful
master".
He made this comment after
the award, but does the title convey the supremacy of the human race? One might
wonder whether house-proud folks have been troubled by such creatures or they
anticipate trouble from them. If it is the latter, then it leads us to the
question that has bothered readers and writers: Is the written word capable of
influencing us beyond our own thought processes?
These awards are not about
gravitas. Bakeley's US editor said, "The Diagram prize celebrates the
playfulness that is at the heart of much of the world's best book
publishing."
It is with much sorrow then
that I break the news about goblins winning over the more practical ‘How Tea
Cosies Changed the World', and 'How to Sharpen Pencils'. For those of us who
have battled with broken lead while sketching, this comes as a huge blow. And,
can you imagine the several wonderful moments of afternoon tea beneath awnings
or in the lounge area of one's home gently lifting the tea cosy, its splash of
flowery print smelling of a stronger brew, quietly changing the world into a
more genteel place where perhaps goblins would be welcome and sharpened pencils
drew the landscape?
We know that titles are
important to grab attention, and even the feel-good genre realised it when it
used titles like 'I'm Ok, You're Ok', 'What After Hello?', 'Who Moved My
Cheese', and the all-pervasive 'Chicken Soup for the Soul' series. These,
however, are not weird. They reveal the content.
So, you might say do former
“weird" winners 'Greek Rural Postmen and Their Cancellation Numbers',
'Highlights in the History of Concrete', 'Bombproof Your Horse' and last year's
winner, 'Cooking with Poo'.
There could well be writers
who think the cancellation numbers of Greek postmen in villages has some
significance, and who would not want to know about the history of concrete,
when we are at pains to trace ruins? If I had a horse, and lived in a dangerous
place where good old cowboys were redundant and there were imminent bomb
scares, I'd most certainly wish to ensure that my steed was safe.
Philip Stone, the prize's
administrator, understands that these books won't get you royalties that might
afford the writer to even bet on a horse. But, he believes, “...the fact that
writers still passionately write such works and publishers are still willing to
invest in them is a marvellous thing that deserves to be celebrated".
It started in 1978 in no
less a place than the Frankfurt Book Fair to "avoid boredom". Think
about the pathbreaking works causing a yawn forcing the sellers and buyers to
amuse themselves. Thus, 'Proceedings of the Second International Workshop on
Nude Mice' took home the first prize. It does sound a tad bit academic, but it
is possible to conjecture that in the late 70s mice without clothes caused a global
uproar that might have been the reason behind the subsequent success of Pat
Robertson.
Here are some titles that
made me sit up and respond:
- 'I Stopped Sucking My Thumb...Why Can't You Stop Drinking?': Pause here. It could be a child's appeal to an adult to desist from a bad habit. Great human interest potential. It is almost fable-like.
- ‘God’s Doodle: The Life and Times of the Penis': Who can have a quarrel with this? The penis has so far been associated with the male. Here we see god's hand in it's creation and resultant ability to procreate.
- 'Versailles: The View From Sweden': This would be something I'd gift Sarah Palin who could see Russia from Alaska.
- 'Afterthoughts of a Worm Hunter': Can any of us claim we do not have afterthoughts. If one is a hunter, there are varied emotions at play - did I hunt well, did the kill appear at the right time, was it painless? If it is worms, then the hunted might reduce one in stature. It's a landmine of conflict.
- 'Managing a Dental Practice: The Genghis Khan Way': Such candour is rare and if you do go under the drill, then it helps to be prepared for a warrior.
- 'If You Want Closure in Your Relationship, Start With Your Legs': Do I need to elaborate?
- 'Governing Lethal Behavior in Autonomous Robots': It sounds surrealistic, but could be truly dangerous. With androids getting more power, what if they did become autonomous?
- ‘Reusing Old Graves': Here is a dead giveaway title and eminently useful, if you believe in recycling and, of course, dying.
This gives me an idea for a
title. How about 'Homeless Skeletons and the Underlying Clamour for Posterity'?
© Farzana Versey